Body Image

At a recent event, I spoke with a woman who read one of my blogs and she said to me that one thing I wrote had really hit home for her as she raises a daughter. She said to me that girls allow their value to be established by their relationships with boys. We both talked about why this could be and it reminded me of my senior thesis in college.

I got my undergraduate degree in communication. I wrote for my college newspaper, The Sundial, and I was the edior of the sports section for two years. I enjoyed learning about producing media, but I also had a keen interest in critically reading the messages that we are bombarded with each and everyday of our lives.

For my thesis, I decided to survey athletes about a popular women's sports and fitness magazine and if these images of skinny women were impacting these strong and fit athletes in any way. Even further, I wondered how many of them had eating disorders. This blog is not going to be just about eating disorders because eating disorders can also occur for various reasons. There is a theme that when one can't control their environment, an eating disorder gives one back that control.

I wanted to know why women were so obsessed with their bodies. The biggest reason why I wanted to know is because I have always been obsessed with figuring out my own. In fact, during my sophomore year in college, I had an eating disorder. I was bulimic. There is anorexia nervosa. This means that someone does not eat enough and there is bulimia. This is someone that binges and purges. I felt out of control in college for several reasons, which I will probably get into in a later blog. However, once I lost that control, I became obsessed with the way I looked. I do not think this just started in college though. I think it was something that slowly became apparent, and I think a lot of it has to do with the images that are imposed on our young girls each and everyday. I found in my research that there is a lot of work that goes into those images and many of those women are even stretched to appear taller and thinner or touched up, so even the women we see in magazines are not perfect enough. Even though I could critically read the magazine and the other athletes that I surveyed could also do that, many of them were still affected by the images. How can we not be affected by the images?

Here's the catch, in an article by Dr. Mary Rooney of the Child Mind Institute, she says, "When things are kept at a superficial level - the more time they spend shopping, or making themselves attractive, or talking about who's dating who the less time they spend engaged in activities that would actually make them develop positive core values and a positive sense of self." She and others have developed programs to help girls to stop looking for validation from outside sources like boys and instead find their own inner voice.
http://www.childmind.org/en/posts/articles/2012-9-25-girls-healthy-self-esteem-confidence-body-image

Let's not forget about peer pressure and puberty. All of these issues combined is the reason why we need to turn off our televisions and put down the magazines and get outside. That same woman I had a conversation with, posted pictures of a hiking trip that her entire family had taken a few days ago. Her daughter posed for a picture on a mountain top that she had just climbed up. That reminds me of those times when I have felt most like myself and the most in the moment. Those times are when I have been playing or engaging in some type of a sport or while I was surrounded by nature.

In a recent World of Psychology article by Dr. Carolyn Coker Ross, she says that currently 80% of women in the US are dissatified with their appearance and more than 10 million are suffering from eating disorders. She discusses in the article, that the once vulumptuous Marilyn Monroe was replaced with the boyishly thin look that has become known has the western culture look. This look has enforced a belief that full figured women are self indulgent and unhealthy. Below is some additional information sited in the article:

• According to the National Eating Disorders Association, 42 percent of first- to third-grade girls want to lose weight, and 81 percent of 10-year-olds are afraid of being fat.
• According to a study in Pediatrics, about two-thirds of girls in the 5th to 12th grades said that magazine images influence their vision of an ideal body, and about half of the girls said the images made them want to lose weight.
• By adolescence, studies show that young people are receiving an estimated 5,260 “attractiveness messages” per year from network television commercials alone.
• According to Teen magazine, 35 percent of girls ages 6 to 12 have been on at least one diet, and 50 to 70 percent of normal-weight girls think they are overweight. http://psychcentral.com/blog/archives/2012/06/02/why-do-women-hate-their-bodies/

Alison 11 Ways to Get Rid of the Body Image Issues
1) Turn off the television and do not buy fashion magazines! Read books on a subject you enjoy while sitting outside on your porch, play a board game with your family, go for a hike, plan a trip to the museum, plan meals for the week and go food shopping, cook, take your dog for a walk etc.
2) Point out to your daughter when a body type is not realistic. Make sure she knows that genetics play a large role in the shape and size of a body.
3) Do not let her life revolve around boys and going to the shopping mall. Make sure she is engaged in outside activities, sports, theater productions, camps, classes etc. Keep her busy as a bee.
4) Cook healthy meals and eat dinner every night at the table. Teach your daugther that eating healthy can make her feel good inside and out.
5) Debunk images when you see them with your daughter. Ask her if the image seems real and then show her something that is real.
6) Seek counseling for your daughter or yourself if you have an eating disorder. Explore all of the issues that can cause an eating disorder. You must educate yourself on the topic and find healthy ways to cope.
7) Have conversations with your daugther about core values. Help her identify what her core values are and how she can use them to express herself and let the outside world affect her.
8) Join a support group or talk to other women about your feelings related to your body. You are not alone.
9) Exercise three to four times a week. Exercise increases endorphines and makes you feel better. Start out by walking around the block. Do not make the exercise about losing weight. Make the exercise about becoming healthy in your mind.
10) Surround yourself with positive people that are not "negative nancies." If you find yourself surrounded by women that complain about their bodies or are trying to achieve this goal of the perfect body, how can you ever feel better about yourelf?
11) Remember that you are not alone and that you can't totally tune out the images and accept that you will be affected by what you see. However, take back your power and create your own reality. Volunteer at a local Boys & Girls Club or Girl Scout program and get involved in helping others debunk the images too. Your body type is your own and there is nobody else out there like you. Celebrate the differences!

Nontraditional Jobs for Women

My first job after I received my masters degree in social work and public administration was the executive director of the West Virginia Women's Commission. I read, researched and studied a great deal about the issues facing women in the state of West Virginia. The Institute for Women's Policy Research compiles information for each state regarding political participation, violence against women, employment and earnings, social and economic autonomy and health and wellbeing. WV fell at the bottom in most of the categories compared to other states. A common theme seemed to keep appearing for me. The more education or training a woman receives the greater the chances that she will lead a healthy and productive life. However, it goes back to the end of the pyramid. It goes back to basic needs. Many women, not just in WV, but other states take on traditional roles and traditional jobs. These are typically in the service industry. Many of these women do not have the means to leave an abusive relationship or take care of their families on their own because they are not making enough money. In fact, WV got an F in employment and earnings and an F in social and economic autonomy. This also means women are the least likely to vote, less likely to work as professionals or managers and have lowest levels of educational attainment in the country.

This also brings me back to my first blog about engaging girls in STEM programs, which stands for science, technology, engineering and math. As mentioned in an earlier blog, many girls start to lose interest in math and science about the age of 12. At that point, make-up, gossip and boys become more important. Continuing to engage girls in these types of programs are very important. For example, The Girl Scouts have launched STEM programs all over the United States and are incorporating these types of activities into their curriculum.

While I was at the Boys & Girls Club, I developed a summer program that incorporated field trips to science museums, guest speakers and various other activities. My favorite day entailed having a full day of STEM activities. I had contacted West Virginia University regarding a program they had put together for girls in another part of the state and they came to us. The children were exposed to geology in an outdoor activity, they learned about robots and engineering while being entertained by a real robot and engaged in many other activities to stimulate their minds. I will never forget what one of the Club kids said to me that day. It was just after the day was wrapping up. The girl that approached me was from a struggling family that appreciated the Club and the support that we could provide to two very hard working parents. Neither of her parents had gone to college. She came up to me and told me how much she enjoyed the day and that when she grew up that she wanted to be an engineer. The whole day was worth that one comment.

I would like to map out two different lives for her. Let's say that she never was exposed to any type of STEM activities because studies show women are encouraged to take on traditional roles in and out of the home. She takes a job making $20,000 a year and gets married at the age of 21. She immediately has two children. Her husband leaves her and the children. How will she make it? Will she work two or three jobs or go from relationship to relationship trying to find someone to help take care of her and the children? The second life involves her going to a community college for the first two years of school and applies and is accepted to a four year university. She graduates with an engineering degree and finds a job out of college. She meets her husband at a conference and they have two children around the age of 30. Which situation sounds better to you?

Another opportunity I had to influence young women, was at a workshop that I created and implemented in southern WV while at the WV Women's Commission. I chose southern WV because there is a great deal of poverty, unemployment and service jobs in that region. Many of these young girls were not thinking of continuing education or paying bills, but marriage and babies. I brought in many vendors and guest speakers to introduce them to jobs where they could make more money and have a promising career with advancement potential. There were vendors from truck driver schools to chemical engineering companies. I had a speaker talk about how she lost her husband in her early 20's and how she had to learn how to take care of herself. She had no idea that life would throw her a curve ball and she realized that she needed to make sure that she could always take care of herself.

Women in nontraditional jobs are faced with many obstacles and many of them have to do with how they are accepted in those roles. There is sexual harassment in the work place as well as many not accepting women, and that includes other women, in these roles. Women need to have access to classes and counselors on how to deal with this type of environment in order to prepare them for what could be.

My sister-in-law is a petroleum engineer. She started out in the field and found that she was the only woman on site for many jobs. Not only that, but she was the boss. She got push back at times, but she has a very thick skin. She stood her ground and to this day during meetings with a table full of men, she will stand up for what is right for her profession. She is smart and she is good at her job. She supports herself, owns her own home, travels with friends to exotic places and has a great boyfriend. She got all of this by getting an education and advancing quickly up the ladder in a field that is dominated by men. She will always be able to take care of herself and she really enjoys her work. Why would we not want that for our daughters and mothers?

Below is a great link to information and statistics on nontraditional jobs and how there are very few women in these types of careers.
http://www.wowonline.org/documents/Whatisanontraditionaljob_002.pdf

Alison's 11 Ways to Find a Nontraditional Job
1) Visit the local community college and find out about their two year programs. Many community colleges partner with the businesses in the area to help provide the skills that company needs.
2) Expose your daughter to STEM activities. Below is a link to the program the Girl Scouts implement. http://www.wowonline.org/documents/Whatisanontraditionaljob_002.pdf
3) Research four year colleges in your area and visit the campus. Explore financial aid and scholarship opportunities while visiting. There are trained people there that can help walk you through the process.
4) You are never too advanced in age to step out of your box and change your life. Many women go back to school at various stages in life. While visiting a campus ask about nontraditional student support or the possibility of meeting others that are going back to school later in life. There are night classes, online classes, and many other ways to go to school and work.
5) Make sure you are involved with the finances in your home. You need to be educated on what bills are coming and going. Take an active role and be a true partner to your significant other.
6) When your daughter is in high school, start talking about what it means to pay bills. Have her get a part time job and have her pay for her own cell phone or car insurance. She needs to understand the value of a $1.
7) When your daughter is considering what she wants to do after high school, sit her down and show her the cost of living. Help her understand that what career she chooses will have a lot to do with her independence. Research careers and show her what she would expect to make in her profession. Also, there is information on what careers will be more in demand in the future. Make sure she sees what the future could possibly hold for her.
8) Before you get married, make sure you know your husbands feelings on traditional roles of man and woman. If he expects you to stay home with the children and cook every night than that probably will not change after you say "I do."
9) If your daughter does decide to go to a four year college and she graduates and is still pondering on the future, have her research graduate schools. Education is the key to advancement and knowledge. We all know that knowledge is power.
10) There is nothing wrong with a liberal arts degree, but make sure you know what kind of job that you can get with a philosophy degree. Have a plan on what is going to happen after college.
11) If you are in an abusive relationship or are working two or three jobs to support your family, there is a way out. However, you have to take the first step. There are many support systems out there to help women and girls become the best they can be in life. Ask someone you trust for help or look up your local domestic violence shelter phone number and make the call.